My sincerest apologies dear readers… I have been a bit out of, uhm, how do I put this? Out of commission for the past couple of weeks, therefore your trusty Epic Games Gone Free Weekly column died down like a cranberry picking cranberries at a cranberry farm.
Because, you know, nothing says cannibalism like a cranberry picking cranberries- Oh, for fuchina’s sake! Chill, okay? I haven’t had the best of months, so cut me some slack on the cheesy nature of my self-deprecating sarcasm. Mkay? Mkay.
In the words of Jeff Probst, “Let’s get it on!”
If you’re looking for a really gumbuster game, then I highly recommend this week’s free game on the Epic Games Store: Deceive Inc.
“Oh, it’s just another Battle Royale game blah blah,” I hear you say. Although I do agree that the Battle Royale genre has transmogrified into a Michael Bay movie sans cast, Deceive Inc offers a rather splendid and refreshing take on the genre.
It’s a bit like Beetlejuice Beetlejuice – a sequel which allows Michael Keaton to dance to the seminal Banana Boat song by Harry Belafonte; a retouched and rebooted Winona Ryder; and the rerelease of Catherine O’ Hara (the OG Mother).
What the Actual Taylor Swift Am I On About?
Look, imagine if James Bond had a torrid love affair with Among Us, and that child was raised by the Team Fortress 2 crew during a particularly chaotic yard sale. That’s Deceive Inc in a nutshell that’s probably being used to hide microfilm.
You’re dropped into a swanky location with up to 12 other players, each trying to be the sneakiest spy who ever spied. Your mission? Steal some super-secret MacGuffin while pretending you totally belong there. It’s like that time I wore a suit to Walmart and people kept asking me where the premium caviar aisle was. (There isn’t one. I checked. Repeatedly.)
The genius bit? Everyone’s running around in disguises, pretending to be NPCs, security guards, or that one person who definitely knows how to use the coffee machine. You can transform into literally anything – furniture, potted plants, that suspiciously muscular water cooler in the corner. Yes, I did spend an entire match as a photocopier. No, it didn’t work. Yes, I got shot by someone disguised as a ficus.
But wait, there’s more! (Sorry, my infomercial past is showing.) You’ve got gadgets that would make Q from MI6 say “steady on, mate.” Grappling hooks, holographic disguises, and enough spy tech to make Silicon Valley jealous. Plus, you can parkour your way around like someone who actually goes to the gym, unlike yours truly who gets winded opening a jar of pickles.
The real kicker? Once someone grabs the objective, the whole thing turns into a high-stakes game of “catch the spy who’s probably pretending to be a chandelier right now.” The map slowly locks down, and suddenly that cool social deception game becomes an action movie where everyone’s the star, the supporting actor, and the suspiciously mobile houseplant.
It’s basically what would happen if Hitman and Among Us had a game child, and that child decided to throw a party where everyone had to wear fake mustaches. And you know what? It actually works better than my attempts at adult responsibilities.
Why You Should Care (Besides It Being Free, You Cheapskate)
Look, I get it. Your wallet’s emptier than my DMs on Valentine’s Day, and you’ve claimed so many free Epic Games that your hard drive is begging for mercy like a RAM stick in a Chrome browser. But hear me out.
First off, this isn’t just another “pew pew watch me floss” game that your nephew won’t shut up about. It’s actually a proper paid game on other platforms – the kind that usually costs real human money, the type you’d normally spend on, I don’t know, another subscription service you’ll forget to cancel after the free trial.
Second, it’s got that sweet, sweet multiplayer juice that means you can disappoint your friends in brand-new ways. Gone are the days when you had to explain why you fell off the map in Fall Guys. Now you can explain why you spent an entire match disguised as a coffee table, accomplishing absolutely nothing except becoming one with the furniture (which, coincidentally, is my life goal).
Third – and this is the big one – it’s actually, legitimately, surprisingly good. Like finding-out-your-ex-got-mild-food-poisoning good. The kind of good that makes you forget you’re playing a free game and not something you spent your entire stimulus check on.
Plus, let’s be real here – what else are you going to do this weekend? Finally start that workout routine? Please. We both know you’re going to spend it playing games anyway. Might as well be one where you can pretend to be a ficus while engaging in international espionage.
Free as in Actually Free (Until November 14th)
Look, I’m just going to say it one more time because I care about your wallet (and because my editor keeps telling me to mention the important bits more than once): Get your sneaky behind to the Epic Games Store and grab Deceive Inc before November 14th. It’s free. FREE free. Not “free trial” free or “free, but we need your firstborn” free. Just free.
Final Thoughts (Yeah I Ghosted You All for a Month, Sorry Not Sorry)
So yeah, I vanished from these weekly articles faster than my motivation after January 2nd. But like that Beetlejuice sequel I rambled about earlier (scroll up, I’m not repeating that masterpiece), I’m back! And this time I’m actually excited about this week’s free game, which says a lot considering I usually have the enthusiasm of a sloth on NyQuil.
Is Deceive Inc perfect? Nah. But neither is my track record with deadlines, and you’re still reading this, aren’t you.
Deceive Inc is available on the following cloud gaming platforms:
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